Serena Williams looses it and the match!

What is your temper costing you? In Sunday’s US Open Women’s Singles Tournament between Serena Williams and Kim Clijsters the competition was fierce. Kim Clijsters the “wild card” pick was a true challenge for Serena Williams and cost her not only the match which comes with a $1.6 million dollar check for winning but was also fined over $10,000. In this instance it is easy to quantify what Serena’s temper cost her but what else may be lurking that will have other profound affects?

After Serena lost the match due to the point deductions for her outbursts in both smashing her racket and wagging her verbal war against the line umpire she immediately went to the press booth knowing that questions would be waiting. My thought in watching the match was, “Wow, this girl has a lot to be sorry for. She will surely apologize.” Boy, was I wrong. Here at last Serena had a moment to redeem herself, but did not once apologize for her conduct at all, a big mistake. Not only did her temper hit her in her pocketbook but it cost her my loyalty as a fan. Serena lost on many levels.

Okay, so Serena isn’t used to loosing. Does that make her outburst acceptable? Because Serena is a champion and professional in her field, does it make it okay for her to berate the umpire? Yes, I understand we all have good days and bad. Some days we get up on the wrong side of the bed but what a price to pay for not being able to keep yourself in check.

John McEnroe, for those of you that remember his court time follies was commentating on this match. When asked his opinion on the call, he began to recall a similar situation in a match and his tale was the same – it’s not fair – oh poor me – it’s someone else’s fault – they changed the rules. Well, to both Serena and John, shame on you. Put your big boy or girl pants on and suck up to the fact that as a professional you do not have the right to smash rackets or use profanity on the court. The words to use here Serena and John are “I’m sorry.”

Twenty years ago I stopped watching matches where John was playing maybe it’s time for me to do that with Serena. Humility is the best form of civility. Maybe instead of taking tennis lessons both Serena and John need to take etiquette lessons instead.

The Player’s Guide to Rules of Conduct on the Court by the United States Tennis Association states that “Ignorance of the rules constitutes a delinquency on the part of a player and often spoils an otherwise good match.” That was evident in Sunday’s match.

As far are the rules around Foot Faults the USTA rules states that “foot faulting, whether intentional or careless, is just as surely cheating as is making a deliberate bad line call.” Ouch! Get it together Serena.

Congratulations to Kim Clijsters, the first mother to win the U. S. Women’s Open Single Championship. What an accomplishment!

Wedding dessert ideas

Looking for some unique bridal cake or wedding favor ideas.  Take a look at what Cranberry Island Kitchen in Portland, Maine has to offer.  They ship anywhere and all the desserts are made of all natural organic ingredients.  It doesn’t get much better than this.

Call Karen or Carol for special requests or to find out more go to:

www.cranberryislandkitchen.com

Order some today, you’ll be hooked!

When to light up

Ask Merry Tip: When there are no ash trays in sight you can assume the hosts prefer you not smoke, if you must, ask before you light up.

The hostess with the mostest

Ask Merry Tip: As the host be clear about where you are to meet and stand to shake hands when guests arrive. As host you must arrive early.

Wet fish keep your hands to yourself

Ask Merry Tip: The hand shake is generally your first opportunity to create a human connection-don’t be a wet fish-grab on firm and smile!

R.S.V.P. and begging for a reply

The type of formality you use on your invitation will dictate the formality used on your reply card as well.  Below are some tips about using the abbreviation: R.s.v.p.

R.S.V.P. is French for: repondez sil vous plait which translates to “please respond” in English.  So if you write: Please r.s.v.p. you are actually saying, “please, please respond,” hence begging them to reply. Not a good idea at any time. 

History lesson: The reason for the use of R.S.V.P. is from way back in the 19th century when the French were considered high society and as America was a young country we just wanted to fit in and be like them. Interesting…

You may also use: Please reply by, Please respond before, The favour of a reply, The favor of a reply.

Who stinks after 3 days?

Is it true that family and friends begin to “stink” after three days? In some instances it may just be a few hours. YICKS! Let me first address having “company,” people over to your home for dinner or even for the night.  Let’s face it; we are all creatures of habit.  We like things the way they are, especially at our homes.  Having people over even though you may love to entertain may bring about some feelings of anxiety or displeasure when your guests do something or say something that does not suit you.  

 

Being a gracious host or hostess is all about making sure your guests are comfortable, sometimes even when you don’t feel like it. You’re the one after all that decided to have company over so step up to the plate and make their stay with you enjoyable.

 

Making sure that each guest has been greeted, watered (has a drink of some kind) and fed is number one. Then let them know the lay of the land. Show them around, interact with them, introduce them to others, make them feel welcomed and important. When speaking to people look at them in the eyes, when shaking hands make sure you have a firm grip not like a wet fish. Your role as host or hostess is to create a warm pleasant atmosphere.

 

The holidays are great examples of how our guests can rub us the wrong way.  It may be that you are having family over that you don’t really care for or that you don’t have anything in common with.  If any of this applies to you let me offer some simple etiquette techniques that might smooth the way and help you to manage and actually enjoy yourself. 

 

First off, remember that etiquette is about the other person. Everything is not about you, even though you are the one doing the entertaining, offering up your home to others, cooking, cleaning, picking up, etc.  It’s always about the “other” person or persons. It is about making them feel comfortable. That does not mean that you can’t have boundaries of what and where your guests can go and do while in your home. But if you don’t communicate your “rules” to them then shame on you.

 

Let me address the music issue.  Again, it’s not about you. If your company ranges in age from 2 to 92 what kind of background music are you going to play? Think about it, put your guests first. Music is an important part of creating an atmosphere that everyone can enjoy. The television does not play into the equation.  Turn it off, unless of course, the BIG game is on that just cannot be missed.  Conversation is where I am going with this. Interacting with your guests and being genuinely inquisitive about them will make for a wonderful stay.

 

Now onto kids…if their coming put all the breakables away.  Don’t wait for the inevitable to happen, get over yourself and put the stuff away. Again, it’s not about you.  It’s about the comfort of your guests. Now that you have put your fineries away have activities for the kids. Don’t make it drudgery for them to have to visit with Grandma. 

 

Food and beverage is another area where we tend to get all a miss. If you need to limit the access of food and beverage to specific areas of your home or even to limit the intake of alcohol (in particular) to specific people, then make sure that everyone knows that rule.  Never assume that your guests understand your household policies.  It is perfectly okay to state, “I would prefer that all the food and drinks stay in this area. I hope you understand. Thank you.”

 

Now, about the three-day rule. We tend to get tired or anxious about guests that stay for longer periods of time. Again, boundaries and communication is key. For me, I like my alone time, even though I love to entertain.  So when I have guests that stay for extended periods, I make sure they have everything they need to get around, in and out of the house, that they have my schedule and access to me when they need it and then everyone has a great time.  You are not meant to be on “duty” 24/7 unless you have not given your guest the tools they need to be self-sufficient.

 

For instance, my husband and I once had guests from Europe that were with us for one month. That was a stretch for me as I mentioned earlier, I like my down time or alone time now and again. What we noticed after the first few days was that they were not eating. I immediately thought that I had done something terribly wrong and had offended them. When we asked them why we did not see them eating their response was that they would never open another persons refrigerator or cabinets. In their culture that was not polite. Whoa! Big lesson. So I proceeded to go through my kitchen drawer-by-drawer, cabinet-by-cabinet and refrigerator to freezer and showed them just where they could find anything they might need or want.  It was amazing how quickly we all had some normalcy.  They were able to be self-sufficient and I was able to relax and not feel as though I had to wait on them for a month. We all had a great time and created a tremendous bond because of the simple rules of etiquette.

 

So, I can’t say enough that etiquette is about the other person. You do the right thing and they will follow. Manners and acts of civility will always rule when entertaining.